Ladies Room Crimes

Ladies, if you hang in Vegas for a while (or live here) there is no avoiding public restrooms in casinos, restaurants, shopping centers, etc. and for the most part, we are spoiled in this department. Most of the ladies rooms here are spacious and clean—if not downright luxurious! I’ll never forget the first time I traveled away from Vegas and visited the ladies room. I stood with my hands under the faucet waiting for the water to come out automatically before remembering I had to actually push the handle to get it running! Similarly, toilets have been flushing automatically here for decades.

But, now, no matter how meticulous the cleaning staff and how beautiful the facilities there are always a few nasty girls who ruin the bathroom nirvana for all of us—and you know who you are! These dirty girls are pretty sneaky though because, I must admit, I’ve only caught a few of the perpetrators in action. If any of you have actually observed guilty parties leaving a stinking mess in the ladies room, I’d be interested in knowing how you reacted.

In the interest of public health and promoting restroom courteousness I have decided to list my most irritating ladies room pet peeves. Let’s take it for what it is—not too important—but, hopefully, a mildly amusing article that promotes public education! These observations are only aimed at reforming guilty parties!

Brushing Your Teeth: Yuck! No one wants to see or hear you spitting in the sink! Get some Brush-Ups if you just can’t wait until you get home.

Smoking: Geez, you can’t put the smokie treats down even while you’re peeing?

Talking on Your Cell Phone: argue with your boyfriend in private please! You’re ruining my Zen experience!

Stinking Up the Place: Alright, let’s be honest—it’s gross! Flush as you go!

Littering: Throwing tissues, toilet paper, or paper towels on the floor is NOT acceptable! Who does this at home? There’s plenty of receptacles to choose from—don’t be so lazy!

Spraying Copious Amounts of Perfume or Hairspray: We don’t all enjoy your White Diamonds!

Flicking Water All Over the Counter Tops: Don’t do this! That’s what the hand towels or dryers are for. If you do make a mess, take a paper towel and clean it up for the next patron, please.

Leave a Space Between Stalls: We all prefer a little privacy when possible if you please.

Thoroughly Flush: Good God, ladies, check to see that you’re not leaving any debris behind! Those stupid tissues seat covers rarely flush the first time. If you insist on using those make sure they go down the drain.

The Worst Restroom Blunder—Peeing on the Seat: Don’t we all HATE this one! Goodness gracious you are the worst offenders! Be kind to others and take care of your business.